Chode, Chode, Chode!
After my article about the bitch-shield, a lot of girls responded with the same experiences, didn’t know what to do with it, but hey, this is fun enough:
Some Arabic guy
Got rude reactions on Facebook as well? Feel free to share in the comments below!
I know I’m totally getting off my next up-track here, sucks right?! Well don’t worry, tomorrow I’ll go on track again, but last night I realized this little gem and couldn’t withhold it from you guys.
How to deal with the alpha-chode.
First of all, what is the alpha-chode? The alpha-chode is the guy that thinks he’s an alpha male, but really isn’t. The guy who is in a club with a few women, but doesn’t really dance with any one of them. Whenever he sees you having fun with them however, he steps in to be all “manly”.
He doesn’t dance with anyone, what does that tell you? He’s not actually WITH any of these girls, he’s in the friend-zone! So all you need to do is get rid of his power. Where does his power come from? His power comes from negativity. He pushes you away looking for conflict, if you give him the conflict, he’ll be the hero saving the girl.
Instead of fighting fire with fire, just throw some water on top of it, introduce yourself to the alpha-chode, shake his hand and say hi, be nice to the guy and he’ll actually HELP you get the girl! Be friends with the girl’s friends and you’re one step closing to getting to her!
A quick follow-up on the last post, if you’re stable enough in your approach and energy, I think you can get everyone along with it, you just need to be confident enough in your own strength and energy, which is tough to do for beginners.
It’s quite simple, there’s no reason to hate on someone who is less successful than you, you’re and my job as the alpha male is to be the leader, if you have a stable value, no-one can take value away from you.
So my rule of thumb is, get socially acclimated first, know your own energy and let nobody take that energy away from you, the chodes will follow!
Time for an extra blog about the risk of self-improvement and PUA
A little extra blog, written out of sheer annoyance, I know this might not help some of the newbies out there, but I promised to give you all my view of PUA. In my opinion, that’s the GOOD and the BAD. And the truth is, I’m having a tough week, not sarging-wise, I’m opening left and right, my problem is different.
I’m hanging out in my birthplace this week, with my friends I know from high school. These guys are the definition of chodes. If chode would be in the dictionary, their picture would be next to it. One guy is so concerned with being cool that all he does is “nonchalantly” stand in the corner, the other guy is just unaware of his surroundings (he’s the only one that wants to at least try though), and today a third guy, virgin farmer boy, joined too.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love these guys in their own way, but this week, I don’t know, their chodiness is annoying me greatly. I’ve always been the Alpha in this group, but because I used to be a chode as well, there wasn’t a problem.
When we go to clubs, all they do is stand in the corner sipping their beers, looking amazed at how I open sets. Whenever I invite them into a set, they act like the anti-wingmen, they do everything a wingman shouldn’t do. They disagree with every word I say, they only interact with the pretty one, they unsuccessfully try to move in on my target and complain about me in front of the set about being too high energy or talkative, but when I leave the conversation up to them, it fizzles faster than a fire with an ice lolly.
The worst thing though, the one thing I really don’t understand, is that when I try to talk to them about improving their skills, they act like they don’t want it, it’s too much effort blablabla, they act like I’m the crazy one for actually getting this shit handled. I’m off banging 8s and 9s, while they’re slowly dying as virgins. I feel like I completely lost my connection with them.
Right now I have three options, either I keep on trying to get them out of the chodezone, I can stop hanging out with them, or I can revert to my old chodeself around them. I think the last one isn’t an option, cause I can’t go back to being not self-entertained, so one of the other two needs to happen, because right now, they’re really holding me back.
What would you do?
Time to talk about my favourite PUA-trick:
The art of the neg, and how to create attraction while negging.
The neg is quite a dangerous technique, because if you use it incorrectly you will come across as a huge dick.
The neg is basically a short, ambiguous comment, which can be perceived as negative, hence the name. A neg is a direct IOD (see PUA-lingo) towards the girl, with a good neg you are either saying: “I’m not interested in you” or “You have to work to completely win me over“.
Why this is so effective? First of all, all the chodes (see PUA-lingo) approaching her are already conveying their interest right away. They approach by saying: “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” If you’re going to compliment her right away, you’ll be the same as every other chode that approached her, if she’s attractive and 21, there have been at least 1.000 chodes that already approached her in that fashion. Do something different!
Second of all, girls know how to follow multi-layered conversation (which I’ll write more about soon), they know that even though you are negging, you’ll probably still go for them if they interest you. That last part is vital, by a simple neg, you can change the question of you qualifying (PUA-lingo) for them to them qualifying for you, you are the selector.
Thirdly, it’s fun! A neg should be a playful little tease, the kind of teases women enjoy and if you want to get closer to your Actual Core, you should learn to enjoy it too! An attractive woman will never convey their interest directly to a potential suitor, so neither should you.
Examples of negs are:
You’re such a dork! (gently push her)
Your nose wiggles when you laugh, so cute! (girl laughs) Yes, there it is! (Point at her nose)
Wow, does she always talk this much? (laugh it off)
Do you always do that? Girl: what? You: Bat your eyes at the first person that pays you even a little bit of attention. (girl laughs) You: You’re so try-hard! (gently push her, laugh it off)
On Facebook: You’re so sloooowwww, type faster!
Please note, these are examples, you don’t have to use these, almost anything can be turned into a neg if you want.
The problem with negs are, they are risky, if you neg too hard, the girl will think you’re an asshole, neg too softly, the girl will think you are trying to make her qualify. Don’t emphasize on the negs, throw and go. Just throw them, laugh them off and move on.
If you’re getting good at negs, there’s another challenge, women will reply with negs and if you’re caught of guard with that, you’re going to lose value. If it’s a clever reply, reward her for it, say something silly like: ah, clever, you’re learning, young grasshopper. If it’s a stupid reply, bust her balls about it: Wow, that was pretty lame, don’t you think?
Keep it light, keep it playful, keep it fun! It’s a game, and now, you know how to play it!
What is an abundance mindset and why is it important?
The most common problem with chodes all around the globe is neediness. They depend too much on the outcome of a conversation, and because of that the girl they’re talking to will always feel uncomfortably pressured. If being rejected hurts your self-esteem, you’re going to get rejected a lot!
You’re thinking right now: But isn’t that the point; to not get rejected any more? I don’t want to get rejected, wheeeeeeeeeeeeh!
The truth is, rejection says nothing about you or who you are and there are hundreds of other women out there. That realization is what I call an abundance mindset. You need to realize that beauty is very, very common. If you open your eyes, you’ll see that beauty is everywhere, in every party there are at least ten girls that you will describe as HB10′s (read PUA-lingo)!
The problem is, you are closing yourself off for so many opportunities by being stuck on one girl that it’s not even funny any more. Thousands of girls in your town are probably waiting for a guy just like you.
You need to realize that there’s an abundance in everything you want.
Next time in Actual Core Program: The art of the neg.
I think it’s time to tell y’all a little more about myself. I was born in the Netherlands, grew up around Amsterdam, about two years ago I moved to Antwerp, Belgium, where I’m still residing now.
My road into PUA
First of all, I was never as unsuccessful with women as most PUA’s claim to be. I had a girlfriend when I was 17 (lets say an HB6), and when I was 18 (HB5, see PUA-lingo), who I eventually lost my virginity to at a respectable age. After I broke up with her, I was depressed for quite a while and the crazy thing happened, me being depressed actually increased my attraction with women. This was before I ever heard of PUA, so I was dumbstrucked. Why would me being depressed actually make me more attractive?
The thing is, at that time, I was into a I-don’t-give-a-fuck paradigm. I just didn’t care, at all. The powerful thing with being in that kind of paradigm, is that women sense you don’t lay too much value into interacting with them. They can be themselves, because you let them be. You don’t depend on the interest she gives you too much.
You can’t be unhappy forever though, so eventually I snapped out of it, and my initial success with women went down the drain again. I felt like I had no control in this whole woman-thing whatsoever and it drove me crazy. I’d fall in love with the first cute girl that paid me any attention and always ended up in the friend-zone. Until eventually I decided: I know I can be successful with women, so now I have to find out how. Around that time I moved to Belgium and started to read A LOT. I read Deangelo, saw all RSD seminars, read the Mystery Method and much more!
I applied small doses of what I read into my everyday conversations I had with women, and eventually, it clicked, I came to a realization about what actually is PUA, and how to do it correctly. Now my problems have gone from: How do I talk to a girl? To how do I tell her I don’t want a relationship? My attraction with women from all countries has sky-rocketed and I have PUA to thank for it.
I still need to learn a lot, for example: I don’t cold approach nearly enough women. But I have the foundations ready now, when I talk to a girl I want, I know how to get her attracted to me, and I never get stuck in the friend-zone again. So right now, I’d say my life is pretty awesome.
Next time in Blog: More about the core-realization.
Hey guys, couldn’t upload yesterday (spent the day with a beautiful Swedish girl). Now here’s a shocker for you:
The most successful PUA does not masturbate regularly.
Why? Well there are a number of reasons, but the reason isn’t that they have enough girls to take care of it for them. The reason isn’t that they magically don’t have the desire to masturbate. The reason isn’t that they are any different from you chodes reading this with your dick in your hand.
There are a few things you must know about masturbation.
- If you don’t regulate it, it’s addictive.
- It gives your body the satisfaction of sex.
- You don’t have to do anything to deserve the satisfaction.
- It makes you feel guilty.
- It needs to be done in moderation.
Ok, I’m not saying you should stop masturbating cold turkey, just try to keep it down to a maximum of two times a month. The fact is, you’re giving yourself easy satisfaction, without actually working for it. By masturbating, you’re telling your body it’s okay not to work for sexual relief.
At the same time, you’re taking away the necessity of women, because if you get sexual satisfaction for free, why would you make the effort to sarge?
It’s all about controlling your own urges, and being in control of yourself. You need to respect your own bodily fluids enough to not waste them on your hands, so for august, max. two masturbation sessions!
i like a girl.. and she stare me.. sometimes we have eye contact.. but i am afraid of saying anything.. and waving hand.. this is going since month.. what i do ???
Answer from AC:
Listen Ethan, you need to understand what an abundancy mindset is out of whack. To be successful with women, you need to realize that there are plenty of cute women out there. So it’s not a big deal if you get rejected by one of them.
That means you have nothing to lose! Just approach, say hi, and go for it! Talk about what you find interesting and see if she matches YOUR standards. If she does, just ask her out for a drink, and see how well you guys really match. It’s as simple as that, part of the Actual Core Program is to show you that it’s easy, you don’t have to try or do anything other than talk and have fun. If you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong!
Why you should never compliment a girl you want to sleep with if you’ve just met her.
Ok, we’re really getting to the core of PUA here guys, why should you never compliment a girl?
With everything you say, you have to look at the real meaning behind the words, that’s what attractive women will always do.
By telling a woman that she’s cute, you’re telling her three things: You’re telling her she has more value than you (and you want to take that value), you’re telling her you’re just like other guys, and you’re telling her she’s extraordinary.
Think about it guys, why would a compliment create anything but disinterest?
1. You’re telling her she’s extraordinary. You’re telling her she’s better than others even though she did nothing to deserve it. If you give her compliments so easily, why would she still work to get your attention?
2. You’re telling her she has more value than you. You’re beautiful inherently means: You’re more beautiful than me, and I want to have that beauty for my own. How does that create attraction? Attraction comes when you have more value than her!
3. You’re telling her you’re ordinary. Think about it, how many guys have already tried showering her with compliments? If you do the same thing, you’re telling her that you do the same thing as every other guy has done before you.
So stop talking about how much you’re interested in her and start creating attraction instead!
Next time in ACP: Why you shouldn’t masturbate. Next time in Blog: More about me.
I’ve been getting a lot of questions on this website, and there’s a lot of stuff to talk about, since I’m doing this for free, I don’t have the resources to make more than one post a day. So bare with me, you’ll get your answers in time. In the mean time, keep on practising!